Tonight I am thankful

I like to lay awake sometimes and think about things in my life that have gone great instead of counting the mistakes I’ve made in the past years.  Tonight, I’m not remorseful for poor decisions I made.  I’m not upset that I’m not an honour roll student anymore, I’m not crying because I don’t have the “one”, I’m not dwelling on things that didn’t turn out how I imagined they would.

At seventeen I moved out of my parents house to move into a college residence and started going back only on holidays.  I am thankful they forgave me for being so shallow minded when I thought I could make it without them.  They are my world and the people who provide me with the message to keep on going and don’t give up.  I’ve become the girl who looks forward to a phone call from her mom (no matter what mood) and a hug from my dad when he picks me up. I’m thankful they let me come home whenever I want for how ever long I want and remind me how great of a person I am even if it is indirectly. Hell, I even have had the joy of getting closer with my brother.  I’m thankful I have a sibling who has my back, and who let’s me cry when I need to and reminds me of when I don’t .
I’m also thankful I have the greatest grandparents in the world.  Despite our differences in the past their overwhelming support of the woman I am astounds me.  You guys are the reason I keep going some days so I can show you those two pieces of paper one day and make you proud.

I am thankful for friends.  The ones who offer to eat every dinner with me and can tell when I’m upset and just need to get something off my chest.  The ones who will notice little things and skype with me to hear me cry about how things didn’t go right, but by the end make me laugh.  The ones who understand when I need a weekend away, a cup of tea, a phone call, a funny picture, or a hug. The ones who I don’t see for months and laugh about the silliest things with while holding squeezing hand at a concert in excitement.  The ones who gave me my most prized “possession” – a ginger haired smiling girl and is pretty much my other half.  I am thankful for the people who made decisions to walk out of my life because I wasn’t good enough for them – thank you.  You’ve shown me I am an extremely valuable human being who’s life does not hold a price tag because I am priceless.

I am thankful I survived my teenage years when so many nights I thought I wasn’t going to make it (when they say it gets better they aren’t lying to you).  I am thankful I make decisions that are logical and at the same time try to live my life with as little regrets as possible.  I am thankful I have a job that has helped me grow as a person and has helped give me some of the most amazing people the world could of ever showed me.  I am thankful for shallow things too – like caffeine (lest we forget the week I was without), books, laptops, and a nice smile.  I am thankful for my freckles (or as my grandpa says angel kisses), and my curves, and my hazel eyes that aren’t quite perfect bu thank goodness for glasses.   I am thankful that I am alive, and I’m doing alright.

I know this post probably seems ridiculous to some, but for a girl who has times where all I can focus on the negatives this is a big accomplishment.

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